Hate, Love, and Confusion
by catgirld86
Summary: AU Four stories. Four points of view on Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, each with different different thoughts, yet the same conclusion. You've been warned. It sucks, but please review anyway.
1. Inuyasha

I hate it.

I hate that I've known her since we were little kids in school. I hate how she used to show me up by acting all superior, and how she wasn't afraid of me like everyone else was. I hate how she had all those friends, and I didn't have any. I hate that she wanted to be my friend. I hate that she was.

I hate how because of our parents, we were always together. I hate that we started to want to spend time together. I hate that once we went into the double digits, she turned to me for everything, from math help to comfort when she was scared.

I hate that when her Dad died, I was the one she wanted to talk to because I was her 'best friend.' I hate that when my Mom died, she was the one I cried to. I hate that when I became an orphan, she insisted I stay with her family, even though they didn't really trust me. I hate that I had to depend on her for a home, for anything.

I hate that she was always getting in trouble, and that I had to save her from all those potential rapists, muggers, and murderers when she went out at night. I hate that when we got into high school, all those guys were staring at her as if she was an object, not a human. I hate how they never looked at her face, just below it and lower.

I hate how they always teased and bullied her for being with me. I hate how she got hurt because of what I was. I hate how all those perverts kept asking her for dates, and how I always had to make sure they weren't going to try anything. I hate how guys kept breaking up with her.

I hate how she didn't go to prom with anyone, but was a wall flower because no one would ask her to dance because they were afraid of what I'd do to them. I hate how she didn't take offense. I hate how I could never say what I wanted to say to her.

I hate how she wanted to go to the same college as I did, to become a florist while I was studying to become an architect. I hate how drunk guys kept throwing themselves at her at those college parties we sometimes went to. I hate how I always take care of her and make sure she's okay.

I hate how she still want's to be my friend, even though she knows I'm an ass. I hate how she was always looked at weird when she went out in public with me. I hate how she didn't seem to notice that being with me was ruining her reputation.

I hate how when she's sad, she cries. I hate how she cries over everything, trivial and serious alike. I hate how she looks when she's crying. I hate how I feel like I wasn't able to protect her, that I failed. I hate that when she cries, I'd go to the moon to make her stop.

I hate that she never stops smiling. I hate that her smile could brighten up anything, and even make a rainy day enjoyable. I hate how her smile thaws even my icy heart, and just for an instant makes me feel happy. I hate how I'd do anything to make her smile.

I hate the way her nostrils flare when she's angry. I hate that sparkle in her eyes when she's yelling at me for being a jerk. I hate that her temper is as unpredictable as the future. I hate how beautiful she look when she's angry. I hate how much I love making her angry.

I hate how her violet eyes shine when she's happy. I hate that her laugh is music to my ears, and that I can't get enough of it. I hate how I could pick her out in a crowd, just by her heart beat and scent. I hate the way her raven colored hair blows in a cool breeze, making her look like an angel.

I hate what her scent is, sakura blossoms, lavender, and jasmine. I hate the way it makes my mouth water. I hate how innocent she can be one moment and completely demonic the next. I hate the way she doesn't care about race, and doesn't think it matters.

I hate the way she speaks when she isn't paying attention, saying odd things like "well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit," or "everything but the kitchen sink." I hate how it's weird yet endearing. I hate how she stands by me, and won't leave me, know matter what I do.

I hate the way my heart races when I hear her name, and the way it feels on my lips when I say it out loud. I hate how much I enjoy hearing my name escape her lips. I hate the way I feel, and that I can't say or do anything about it. I hate that I can't tell her everything.

I hate the way I feel about Kagome Higurashi.

I hate it. I hate it so much, sometimes I could just die. I hate that she could never feel the same way. But there's something I hate worse.

I hate that I love her so much.


	2. Kagome

I love him. So much.

I love the way he acted when we were little, pretending he was better than everyone, when everyone was saying different. I love that he never let anyone push him around, including me. I love how he tried to act brave and uncaring, even though he was so lonely. I love that he let me be his friend. His best friend.

I love how we were inseparable, because we were such good friends. I love the way he was there for me, for everything, continually by my side. I loved the way he comforted me when I was scared, and how he swore he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

I love that he didn't leave me when things got hard, like when Dad died. I love the way he held me while I cried, so gentle, I stopped crying. I love that I was the only person he opened up to when his Mom died, not some therapist, me. I love the way he let me help him. I love the way my family took him in because I believed in him, despite what he was. I loved that he leaned on me for once, instead of the other way around.

I love the fact that he was always making sure I was safe, even when it wasn't necessary. I love that when we got to high school, he opened up to me more, and to a few other people. I loved the way he was beginning to be accepted by other people, besides myself.

I love the way he always protected me from those bullies in school, who called me crazy and insane. I love the way he always reassured me that I wasn't afterwards. I love the fact that he didn't mind being seen with me. I love that when I got sad because I was dumped, he was always there for me, a crying shoulder just for me.

I love that at prom, he danced with me, because no one else would. I love the way that he didn't act disgusted to dance with the crazy girl. I love the way he made me so, so happy in that unforgettable moment.

I love that he didn't mind that I wanted to go to the same college he did, just to be with him. I love that he didn't care that I didn't want to go to a party every evening, where he had to keep protecting me from drunks crazier than me.

I love that he stayed my friend all these years. I love that he didn't mind being seen with the crazy miko girl. I love that he didn't mind that years ago, I wasn't very confident in myself. I love how he ignores the stares we get from people on the streets.

I love that when he's sad, he won't let himself show it because of his pride. I love the way he pretends to act manly when really he's a big softie. I love that when I'm sad, he always knows just the right thing to do to make me happy again.

I love that smile he has, though it's appearances are rare. I love the way it lights up his whole face, and that no one can help smiling with him. I love the fact that I want to make him smile all the time.

I love the way his eyes get huge when he's really angry. I love that his constant temper makes life interesting, even adventurous and fun. I love the way he gets angry when anyone insults those he cares about, and how he isn't afraid to stand up for what's right, even when it's hard.

I love being able to make him happy. I love hearing that deep laugh of his that so few have heard. I love it when he chuckles at anything and everything. I love that I can always find him in a crowd, and count on the fact that he's there for me.

I love his unusual golden amber eyes that shine in the sunlight, or when he's fired up, or doing what he loves. I love that long silver hair of his, hair that is silky to the touch. I love the way it falls perfectly around him, never a burden to him.

I love the scent of the forest that clings to him, the way I can never get it out of my head. I love the way he "feh's" when he's losing an argument, or is irritated, or doesn't know what to say. I love the small dog ears that sit upon his head, soft and furry to the touch. I love the way his ears twitch this way and that, showing his emotions.

I love the way his name feels on my lips, and how wonderful my name sounds coming from him. I love the way my heart beats so loud when he's around, I'm positive even regular humans could hear it.

I love that I love Inuyasha Takahashi.

I hate that I'm such a burden to him. I hate that he feels obligated to protect me, even when it is clearly inconvenient. I hate that he has to keep saving me when I'm in trouble. I hate that I'm only a burden to him.

I hate that I can never tell him how I feel because he will think it is pity. I hate that I think that he might even feel the same way when he clearly couldn't possibly feel the way I do.

I hate that I'm to chicken to tell him. I hate that I'm scared he won't feel the same. I hate that I don't want to ruin our friendship. I hate that I'm a coward.

But I hate that he blames himself for everything that happens to me and to our friends. I hate the way that others mock him for being a half demon. I hate that he doesn't think he can let anyone see that he's hurting, not even me. I hate that he has no confidence in most things because of all the torment he received as a young child because of what he is.

I hate how jealous I get when other girls look at him, and how angry I get when they reject him for what he is, not bothering to get to know the real him. I hate how others can't seem to get past what he is.

I love that I love him.

But I hate that he can't love himself.


	3. Sango

They've been friends since before I met them. They do everything together, and know almost everything about each other. They know exactly what the other is thinking. But not in a creepy finish-each-other's-sentences way.

She hasn't had a boyfriend since high school, and she'll be twenty-four soon. He hasn't ever had a girlfriend, and is the same age as her.

He's a dog hanyou. A hated species by most. Most hanyous die old and alone or in "accidents." He's found great friends, human and demon alike, that accept what he is. But she goes a step further. She embraces it. Wouldn't want him any other way. She accepts both parts of him.

She's a miko. Humans love mikos because they can protect them from demons. Demons hate mikos because they have the power to destroy them. Demons out number humans 3 to 1. She gets into trouble a lot. But he is always there to save her. If she were to be seriously injured because he didn't protect her, he'd probably kill himself. He'd feel like he failed.

The two are perfect for each other. Her big heart balances out his brash and rude behavior. It's hard to explain perfectly, but they balance each other out. Like yin and yang, black and white, or hot and cold. They're perfect for each other.

They're completely in love with the other, too. It's obvious by the little things they do for each other. They way she'll pack extra in her lunch for him, something she knows he really likes. Or how he always opens doors for her. It's obvious in the way they sneak glances at each other when they think no one is watching. It's so cute.

Of course, the obvious things they do prove they love each other. The fact that he walks her home every evening. How she defends him when others mock him. How he protects her from demons and men with unwanted advances. It's nice to see how much they care for each other.

But what I don't understand is why they don't say anything about it. It's obvious to everyone but them how they feel! It drives me insane! After all, they aren't getting any younger. If they wait to tell each other how they feel...they may not get their happy ever after.

I don't get why they keep quiet. I understand the fear, I really do. But the weight of knowing I loved the other would have caused me to confess years ago. Besides, it's not like they haven't had any opportunities. My fiancé and I constantly send those two off by themselves, hoping something will be different when they come back. But if nothing else, they seem tenser. Edgier. Which I don't get, but that's a story for a different time.

They confuse and confound me. They are so dense they can't see what is obvious to Miroku and I. They honestly have no clue how the other feels, or that they both feel the same. They're perfect for each other, but they can't see that.

I really don't get how to people can be so dense about something so obvious.


	4. Miroku

It's going to kill them one day. Figuratively I hope. I haven't known them long, but even to strangers it's obvious how they feel.

They love each other very much, and are well suited for each other. They are complete opposites, but go together like peanut butter and jelly. They are perfect for each other.

But they're afraid, so they don't say anything. They are almost 24, for crying out loud. The fear of how the other would react is consuming them, leaving no room for anything else.

That fear is making things awkward, creating a tension so thick you could slice it with one of Inuyasha's clawed fingers. The tension won't go away until they confess all that they are feeling to each other.

But I fear that it will just get worse. That the tension will become so big and overwhelming that they will do everything they can to avoid it, meaning they will avoid us and each other. Sango and I will lose our two best friends, and they will lose each other. And then one of the greatest loves of our time will be over before it could begin.

My fiancé and I send them out on their own as much as we can. Every time they come back, they are edgier, more tense than before. They still do nice things for each other, and they always will. But they don't joke around as they did before. They're like a bomb waiting to go off. It's going to happen, but you don't know when. And they'll either live happily ever after or drift apart, depending on how it goes.

It saddens me to see the state of their relationship as it is now. It was they who gave me the nerve to propose to Sango, and gave me the courage to help her when she needed it most. In fact, those two were my models as to how I should treat Sango. I'll never forget that night in college.

He was my roommate in college, which is how I met him in the first place. Kagome at the time lived by herself in a small apartment near campus. Right before final exams, Inuyasha got a late night call. It was two in the morning, and we had been up studying until one. I was awakened by his ringtone from his cell.

He talked quietly, so I couldn't tell what he was saying. But by the tone of voice, I knew he was talking to Kagome. He eventually hung up and got dressed before leaving. He didn't return until seven in the morning, barely in time for our first exam.

I didn't know what had happened until Sango told me the next day. Kagome had heard strange noises coming from somewhere in her apartment, and she got scared. She had called him, asking him to come over and investigate what was making the noises. They spent several hours before they found the culprit. A kitten had gotten into her apartment and was knocking things over. I know she kept the thing and named him Buyo.

I also know that Inuyasha was so sleep deprived, he couldn't think straight, so he didn't do well on the exam. He almost failed the exam. Luckily the professor liked him and let him retake it. He passed with flying colors.

I always remembered this, because it wasn't something I'd really do, even for my girlfriend. They were in love, though, so I couldn't blame him for doing it. It was how I knew that I loved Sango, though. I was willing to sacrifice anything and everything for her. I was even willing to do what he did for her.

But anyways, the tension is going to kill them. And by the looks of it, soon. I really hope they realize what they need to do before it all goes wrong.


End file.
